(When I started writing I didn't have a title but then one came to me as I was finishing up. I didn't want to re-write the entire blog so I just added this line to explain why it starts off the way it does)
I don't have a title for tonight's writtings, that is mostly because I just have something that I need to get off my chest. I have always preach to my family and friends to take hold of life by the yarbels (Balls) and do what ever you want as long as nobody gets hurt. I am on the verge of taking my own advice but I am worried. You see there is a girl (BIG SURPRISE) that I have adored from a distance for a very long time. Up until now I have never even tried to do anything more than be friendly with her,mostly because she had a boyfriend, but it now seems that I have a window of opportunity that might allow me to see if these feelings I have for this your girl is more than just a crush from my youth. Anyways I intend to find out.
The biggest obsticle I see infront of me is myself. You see I have built up this idea as an ideal match for me, she is attractive, intelligent, healthy, funny, and a hole lot of other things that I will not add because I fear it might give her away and I don't want to many people to know that she is single because if they had any sensethey would try to get her for themselves. But I digress, my imediate concernis that because I don't know her very well and I fearthat I have place her on an unrealistic pedistil that i may neverbe able to reach, or worse I find out that in reality she is ot the person I thught she was but a crazy, mean cracked out bitch, which I doubt but is stil a possibility.
The question I have to ask is if all this is worth the worst. Now I am no longer the shy ignorant boy I once was. I understand women now better than I have ever in the past. I can make any girl I meet a friend in a mater of moments, but the second I try to turn that relationship into something romantic, things become award and eventually fizzle out. I find this especially ironic because of all the girls I know that imagine that the best intimate relationships grow out of friendships.
I planned on making a list of my fears, worries, possitives and negatives about this situation, but then I remebered the pupose of my blog. To Do Every Idea I have, no matter how dumb it may be. Its not to chicken out. It doesn't matter what the out come may be, the entire point of this thing is to experience life and get my ideas out into the world so that I can sort them out and make them work for me instead of fluttering away into nothingness. So that is my plan. I am going to go after this young person with all my skill. It does not matter if they work ut or not, even though I really hope they do. The point is to do it.
__________________________________________________________________________________
Ideas for this week
new Goal: Re-star work out regiment. Since I can't work I might as well get back in shape. I hope to lose another 25lbs by Xmas
Grecian wraps- a new line of novelty condoms based on things that I think up of after I have been drinking with my friends
Begin work on a new Board game based on stories I have been told and stories I have told others
*sorry about the vague ideas, I don't want to give away too much in case someone wants to take my ideas
Isn't that just the funniest thing? "Oh, the best relationships grow out of friendships/ Oh, I don't want to risk losing our friendship."
ReplyDeleteDumb broads. I swear.